5 Ways to Regulate Your Nervous System This Thanksgiving (So You Can Actually Enjoy It)

Thanksgiving. The word alone might send a flutter of anxiety through your chest if you have a chaotic family....or if you're a Highly Sensitive Person going to a big gathering.

While everyone else seems excited about turkey and togetherness, you're mentally calculating how many hours you'll be trapped in overstimulating conversations, navigating family dynamics that haven't changed since you were twelve, and trying to explain (again) why you need to take breaks or leave early.

You're not being difficult. You're not antisocial. Your nervous system is just wired differently—and holidays like Thanksgiving can push it into overdrive.

The Unique Challenges HSPs Face During the Holidays

Let's name what's really happening beneath the surface of those picture-perfect holiday gatherings:

Sensory overload is guaranteed. The clatter of dishes, multiple conversations happening simultaneously, the smells, the textures, the chaos of cooking—it all registers more intensely for you. What others experience as "festive energy," you experience as assault on your senses.

Family dynamics intensify. Old patterns resurface. Unresolved tensions simmer. Someone makes that comment they always make. Your boundaries get tested. The roles you've outgrown get reinforced. And because it's a "special occasion," you're expected to just smile through it all.

There's pressure to perform gratitude. Don't get me wrong—gratitude is beautiful. But forced cheerfulness when you're overstimulated or emotionally triggered isn't gratitude. It's people-pleasing. And HSPs are often master people-pleasers, abandoning their own needs to keep the peace.

Social exhaustion is real. Even with people you love, extended social interaction depletes your energy differently than it does for non-HSPs. You're processing more—the emotional undercurrents, the unspoken tensions, the subtle shifts in energy. It's exhausting work that no one else can see.

The stakes feel higher. You might worry about disappointing people if you leave early. You might fear being labeled as "too sensitive" (again). You might feel guilty for not enjoying something you're "supposed to" enjoy. This meta-anxiety about your anxiety only makes everything worse.

The good news? You can have a different experience this year. Not by changing who you are, but by giving your nervous system what it actually needs.

5 Strategies to Keep Your Nervous System Regulated This Thanksgiving

1. The Nature Reset: Your 10-Minute Escape Hatch

When you feel your nervous system starting to rev up—heart racing, thoughts spiraling, that compressed feeling in your chest—you need an immediate circuit breaker. Nature is that reset button.

Here's how to use it:

Before the day begins, identify your escape route. Where can you go for 10 minutes when you need a break? The backyard? A walk around the block? Even sitting in your car counts.

When overstimulation hits, excuse yourself without explanation. You don't need permission. "I'm stepping outside for a bit" is a complete sentence.

Once you're outside, engage your senses intentionally. Feel the temperature of the air on your skin. Notice the quality of light. Listen to the sounds—birds, wind, traffic, silence. Let your eyes rest on something natural—a tree, the sky, a patch of grass.

The goal isn't to think your way to calm. It's to give your nervous system different input. Nature's rhythms—slower, more spacious, undemanding—naturally downregulate stress responses.

Pro tip: Set a gentle timer for 10 minutes so you can fully surrender to the break without worrying about how long you've been gone. When you return, you'll have more capacity for whatever comes next.

2. The Self-Compassion Pause: What You'd Tell Your Best Friend

HSPs are often masters at extending compassion to others while being merciless with themselves. During high-stress moments, that internal critic gets louder: Why can't I just be normal? Everyone else seems fine. I'm ruining this for everyone.

This strategy interrupts that spiral.

Here's the practice:

When you notice harsh self-judgment arising, pause. Place one hand on your heart and one on your belly—a physical gesture that signals safety to your nervous system.

Then ask yourself: What would I say to my best friend if they were struggling right now?

You wouldn't tell them they're too sensitive or they should just suck it up. You'd probably say something like: "This is really hard. You're doing your best. It's okay to feel overwhelmed. You don't have to be perfect."

Now say those words to yourself. Out loud if possible, silently if not. Let yourself actually receive them.

This isn't just positive thinking—it's actively shifting from your threat response (which includes self-criticism) to your care system. Self-compassion physiologically calms your nervous system by activating the same neurological pathways as receiving compassion from someone else.

When to use it: Especially powerful in moments when you feel ashamed of your needs or like you're being "too much."

3. The Breathing Anchor: Your Built-In Tranquilizer

Your breath is the most accessible tool you have for nervous system regulation, and you can use it anywhere—even at the dinner table.

But here's what most breathing advice gets wrong: when you're already activated, being told to "just breathe" can feel impossible. Your breath is short and shallow precisely because your nervous system is in protection mode.

Try this instead:

Start by noticing your breath exactly as it is right now. No judgment. No trying to change it. Just: This is how I'm breathing right now.

Then, when you're ready, extend your exhale just slightly longer than your inhale. You're not forcing anything—just giving your exhale a little more space. In for 4, out for 6. Or in for 3, out for 5. Whatever feels doable.

The exhale activates your parasympathetic nervous system—your rest-and-digest mode. It quite literally tells your body that you're safe enough to relax.

Do this for just five breaths. That's it. You can do this while someone's talking to you. While you're eating. While you're loading the dishwasher. No one needs to know you're regulating your nervous system in real time.

Bonus practice: Pair this with a simple phrase on each exhale: "I am here" or "I am safe" or simply "Soften." This gives your anxious mind something to focus on besides the threat it's scanning for.

4. The Somatic Release: Moving the Stress Through

Your body holds stress in physical form—tension in your shoulders, tightness in your jaw, that compressed feeling in your chest. You can't think your way out of somatic activation. You have to move it through.

This isn't about exercise or "working out." It's about giving your body permission to complete the stress cycle.

Here are three quick somatic releases you can do anywhere:

The Shoulder Roll: Slowly roll your shoulders up to your ears, then back and down, making the biggest circle possible. Do this 5-10 times. Exaggerate the movement. Let yourself feel silly. This releases the "bracing" pattern HSPs often hold in their upper body.

The Jaw Release: Notice if you're clenching your jaw (most of us are). Open your mouth wide, move your jaw side to side, make chewing motions. Massage the hinge of your jaw where it connects to your skull. Tension here is directly linked to your stress response.

The Shake: If you can find even 30 seconds of privacy, literally shake your body. Start with your hands, then your arms, then let your whole body get involved. Animals do this instinctively after a threat passes—it's how they discharge stress hormones. Let yourself look ridiculous. It works.

Why this matters: Your nervous system doesn't distinguish between emotional and physical threat. When you're overwhelmed at Thanksgiving, your body is literally preparing to fight or flee. Somatic practices help complete that cycle so the activation doesn't get stuck in your tissues.

5. The Connection Lifeline: Your Exit Strategy Is Your People

Here's what often happens: HSPs go into holidays already feeling somewhat isolated in their experience. Then they push through discomfort alone, trying to be low-maintenance. By the time they're really struggling, they feel too ashamed to reach out.

This is exactly backwards.

Connection—the right kind of connection—is one of your most powerful regulating resources. But you have to set it up proactively.

Before Thanksgiving:

Identify 2-3 people who get it. These are your nervous-system-friendly humans—the ones who don't tell you you're too sensitive, who understand HSP needs, who won't be offended if you need to cut a conversation short.

Schedule specific connection points. This might look like:

• A quick morning text check-in: "Thinking of you today—remember you can leave whenever you need to"
• A planned phone call during your afternoon break
• A post-Thanksgiving debrief session already on the calendar with your therapist or a trusted friend

Tell them explicitly what you need. Not: "I might need support." But: "I'm nervous about Thursday. Can I text you if I need to vent? Can we have a 10-minute call around 3pm to help me reset?"

During the day:

Give yourself permission to micro-connect. Even a two-minute text exchange with someone who gets it can help you feel less alone in your experience. "This is so loud and I'm already overstimulated but trying to hang in there." Just saying it out loud (even via text) helps.

Why this is non-negotiable: Your nervous system co-regulates with others. When you connect with someone who feels safe, their calm nervous system quite literally helps regulate yours. This is biology, not weakness.

The Bottom Line: You Don't Have to Earn Your Worthiness

If there's one thing I want you to take from this, it's this: You don't have to perform your way through Thanksgiving to prove you're grateful or loving or "good enough."

Your sensitivity isn't something to manage so others feel comfortable. It's your neural reality—and it deserves accommodation, not apology.

These five strategies aren't about fixing yourself so you can finally enjoy the holidays like "normal" people. They're about honoring your actual needs so you can show up as yourself—regulated, present, and whole.

And if that means you leave early, take five breaks, skip the crowded dinner entirely, or spend the day exactly how you need to? That's not failure. That's self-knowledge. That's self-respect.

Your nervous system will thank you.

And honestly? So will the version of you who no longer has to spend the entire holiday weekend recovering from a day of pretending to be fine.

Need more support navigating the holidays as an HSP? Join The Sanctuary for weekly coaching, HSP-specific strategies, and a community that actually gets it. [Link to Sanctuary]

Working through holiday anxiety or family dynamics in therapy? These strategies are even more powerful when you have professional support. If you don't have a therapist yet, now is a great time to reach out—many therapists have openings for new clients before the end of the year.

Frequently Asked Question

Q1. Why do Highly Sensitive People feel overwhelmed during Thanksgiving gatherings?

A. Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) experience sensory input more intensely, which makes loud environments, crowded rooms, and emotional family dynamics especially draining. During Thanksgiving, the combination of noise, social pressure, and overstimulation can overload their nervous system. Using grounding techniques, breathwork, and somatic practices can help HSPs stay regulated and enjoy the holiday more comfortably.

Q2. What are the best ways to regulate your nervous system during holiday stress?

A. Some of the most effective ways to regulate your nervous system during the holidays include taking short nature breaks, practicing extended exhale breathing, using self-compassion techniques, moving your body to release tension, and staying connected to supportive people. These simple strategies help reduce overwhelm, prevent emotional burnout, and create a calmer Thanksgiving experience.